We recently finished our humor book “THE BUFFER ZONE/Crazy is Relative” about dysfunctional families and decided to start this blog about them also. Not the heartbreaking dysfunctional ones that, unfortunately, you hear about every day, but the ones we all have – the wacky aunt, the annoying brother, the loser cousin. The relatives that cause all the unnecessary drama, and conflict over important things like Tupperware, in any family. Yeah, you know the ones.
Last Monday I was working on a new post, and in an instant nothing was funny. It was tragic, horrific, unfathomable. Our hearts weep once again for the families who lost innocent loved ones to senseless, violent acts. I really can’t imagine how you go on after a loss like that, but I guess you just do.
Yes, Mr. Rogers, we will look for the helpers, and try to carry on as normal. Because this is our new reality, and to not do so, is to sink into despair.
So we will still attempt to make you chuckle by laying out our extended families’ quirks for all to see, and roll around on them like our dog on a dead frog. There will still be posts complaining, grumbling, and criticizing the crazies, along with the silent thanks that they are still here.
Love and prayers,
Buffer n. 1. Something that lessens or absorbs the shock of an impact. 2. A neutral area between two conflicting powers.
Buffer Zone n. 1. Where you can hide when you realize the “conflicting powers” are your dysfunctional relatives.
Yeah, that’s it. Enough said.
dysfunctions delve deep
into your chromosome pool
and there party on
There are only 115 days until July 31, “The Buffer Zone Day!” Start stockpiling liquor now.
Finally forced myself to watch a whole 30 minute episode of TLC’s reality (definitely a misnomer because there is no way all of those humans live under the same roof with no friction whatsoever) show, “19 Kids and Counting”.
As expected, my glucose level began to rise, and after 11 minutes I began to drift off and imagine TLC’s biggest hit ever – “The Duggar’s 15 Years Later”.
As we envisage the show Josie, the littlest Duggar (that is unless Jim Bob and Michelle refuse to stop the madness), will be the rebellious teen crawling out the back window. The college kids will be posting drunken pictures of themselves on Facebook, the graduates will be searching for employment, and at least one of the children will be in rehab.
Of course, there will be more marriages, a few divorces and remarriages with accompanying step siblings, a “lifestyle” change, and LOTS more grandkids. Series highlights will include arguments over which grandchildren are the “favorites”, who was forced to do the most housework or babysitting when they were growing up, and who had the most on-air time.
You are welcome TLC! The Buffer Zone will be happy to act as series consultant and we will even throw in an autographed copy of our book, THE BUFFER ZONE.
We realized the value of a disguise at a very young age.
Ahhh Easter, that joyous time of rebirth and blessings. Unless one of those blessings happens to be a whacked relative, or as we like to call them “repellatives.”
We can’t be sure of the identities of the two moms who got into fisticuffs at the Seattle Woodland Park Zoo Easter Egg Hunt because no one pressed charges, but we can guess they are related.
We’ve seen it before. One minute the extended family happily dons their Spring dresses, or in this Seattle case pastel insulated vests, and goes skipping through the zoo swinging their empty baskets. Then someone yells “GO” and it’s every child for himself.
Unless a mom decides that there is absolutely no way that her little darling is not going to win the plastic egg collection count. According to Katharine Lackey’s article in USA TODAY, that is exactly what happened. The confrontation began when “one woman reportedly pushed a child aside as her own child was scrambling toward some brightly colored eggs,” the police department said in a statement. The two women had to be separated three or four times and one ended up with a bloody nose.
Maybe Mom #1 just dreaded hearing about Mom#2’s child once again doing something/anything better than her own child at the family dinner table. Like we say in our book, “The Buffer Zone”, CRAZY IS RELATIVE.