We Help Name The Royal Baby

Now that Prince William and his wife, Kate, officially known as the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, have welcomed a baby boy into their family, the world is anxiously awaiting the name of the wee tyke. Will they go for the traditional name with royal associations, or will they go for something edgy and modern?

Bookmakers can hardly keep up with the bets placed, with George currently at number one. Other “kingly” names such as James, Edward and Henry are hovering close by, showing most people think that the name chosen will be one of a former king, although probably not Athelstan, King of England from 925-939 AD. It’s interesting to see that Hashtag is even in the running at 500/1 odds.

It is understandable that the royal baby’s name has to sound and look impressive, since it will be forever etched into history books, deckled edge royal stationary, and on commemorative tea bags, mugs, coins, candles, key chains, plastic figurine play sets, and toilet paper covers. The easy way out would be to combine the top eight names on the betting board, since royals have so many middle names they need two signature lines.

If the royal family had followed baby name trends in the states, it wouldn’t have taken them a month to come up with the name (Prince) Charles. Allow us to offer a few tips to make picking a name for the new prince easy as pie.

Of course, there are some couples in the U.S.A. that honor their fathers with the same name for their baby, adding “Junior” or “the II” behind it, but they really end up calling them “Big” Hank and “Little” Hank forever (even though “Little” Hank outweighs “Big” Hank by 90 pounds). In the southern states, using a family last name as a first name is popular. Spelling a last name backward, and using it as a first name, is another way to  pay heed to past generations. For example, my son would be named Ledar or Suirelav, which I have to admit doesn’t sound any more ridiculous than some of the trendy names I’ve run across recently. However, no one knows the royal couple’s last name, so that would just be wasted effort.

Have a lucky number? Seven or La3sha would incorporate your go-to number into the name. Got lucky? The place where the baby was conceived is sometimes commemorated by giving the baby the same city name. Denver, Vegas, Paris, and Malibu (both the city and the Chevy car) will be explaining their moniker to their friends, while trying not to form any mental images, for the next thirty years at least. Little Kensington might not want to do that.

Adding an apostrophe or a few extra capital letters to the name allows you to pronounce the name quite dramatically. Say these out loud- Dante, and then D’Ante. Notice the difference?

Naming your baby after a fruit, direction, color, or animal is always sure to make your little one stand out at kindergarten roll call. Watching the expressions on people’s faces when they hear one of these names will also provide endless hours of entertainment. Just make sure you have established a trust fund for your child’s future therapy sessions.

If you are not creatively inclined, have no dictionary, or are just lazy, you can search google for any baby name list imaginable. Lists include the top Popular, Classic, Hipster, Unique, Ethnic, Star-powered, Literary or Disney Character names, as well as one for Secret Identities of Superheroes.

Then you have to go through the possible names, look up the meaning of each, and see what words the initials spell when put together. After giving careful consideration to all of these factors, it is apparent what the new little Prince of Cambridge would be named if he had been born in the states.

Pr’nce Edward “E” Nigma Veggie Frittata Fred

 

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