Mother-Daughter Bonding

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It’s nice that moms and their daughters can be BFFs, except you aren’t supposed to be until your daughters are real adult type people.

Usually, teen parties involving alcohol or drugs happen when the parents are away. There are “fun” moms, some I have know personally, who feel that having a small party at their house keeps teenagers from driving under the influence.

Mariel Weinand, 18, threw a shindig in her Naples, Florida home, and when the cops showed up to squelch the party, guests ran inside and cut the lights. Two girls allegedly held Mariel up, as in Weekend At Mariel’s, while she gave her mom’s cell phone number to the police.

When reached by the authorities Carolyn Weinand, mugshot (ABC7) above, stated she had no idea there was a party goin’ on since she was out of town. She gave officers her blessing to break up the party. Police found people hiding in different rooms and closets, and SURPRISE!-Carolyn hiding in the bedroom, where she changed her tune to “safe party.”

According to newser.com, she denies buying the alcohol, but she’s charged with 26 counts of selling, giving, or serving alcoholic beverages to persons under the age of 21.

Since mom and daughter are both charged with one count of having an open house party, they might want to consider a nice trip to the mall next time instead.

It’s All Good Till Someone Loses An Ear

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Another day, another brotherly scuffle.

According to Huffington Post (http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4722926) and an article in the Democrat and Chronicle of Rochester, police say that 27-year-old Sean Fallon-Nebbia, pictured above, ending up biting part of his brother’s ear off, punching him several times in the face, and knocking him out just to make sure he got the message.

But what started this brotherly brouhaha at the Super Bowl Party Fallon-Nebbia hosted? Sure, they drank a whole bottle of whiskey before the incident, but I’m guessing that is not unusual.

Based on a trend I’m are seeing, it was not about the outcome of the game, or whether Peyton Manning is still the man, it was something about the food (http://wp.me/p3lORd-3U). Lord knows that people are passionate about their food. Were the chips stale? Not enough bean burrito dip to go around? Was it an issue that the pigs-in-a-blanket weren’t gluten free?

Maybe the issue that ignited the fight will come out during the trial. Meanwhile, the younger brother has a Buffer Zone, a restraining order, and a good shot at winning our Most Dysfunctional Family Contest.(http://wp.me/p31Ord-3U)

Happy Buffer Zone Day!

July 31st is Buffer Zone Day! It is one of our favorite holidays, along with Christmas (because, well, it’s Christmas) and Halloween (because you can’t tell how dysfunctional our family is when they are dressed in costumes). It’s a day we celebrate creating a Buffer Zone, putting distance between ourselves and the wacko relative we all have.

Since everyone, yes, EVERYONE, has a relative like this, we throw a big party every year, with lots of yummy cheese-laden food and abundant alcohol. After a quick catch up and a nosh, each guest takes a turn telling a story or incident that best demonstrates the craziness of their particular relative.

Again, we do not want to hear the heartbreaking stories that, unfortunately, are all too common. We are only interested in those dysfunctional family moments that amuse us, and make us glad we are not you.

After each story, we laugh, raise a glass, and congratulate the speaker on the fact that they have established a Buffer Zone of X-number of miles from the offending repellative. If they have not yet established a Buffer Zone, we are there to commiserate, and offer helpful suggestions, such as “Dude! You’ve got to get away from them!”

Oh, the stories we have heard. They seem to get more absurd every year, so we like to reward the guest with the best (or worse, if it happened to you) story with a trophy (this year’s coveted award is pictured). There is no significance to the trophy we choose, only that we chuckle when we think of it displayed on the winner’s mantle for the next year.

photo-502Besides the good food, drink, company, and the excitement over the stories and trophy reveal, party guests leave feeling their extended families could always be worse.

We wish you the very happiest Buffer Zone Day, and another year free from family funk!

 

Only 29 More Days!

We’re sure you are bursting with excitement, and anxiously awaiting “The Buffer Zone Day” on July 31. Hopefully, by now, you have established a Buffer Zone from the crazies in your family, and have nothing left to do but organize the wine you have been stockpiling for this glorious day of celebration.

It’s also a good idea to research the noise ordinance in your neighborhood so you know how many A-scale (the scale that is closest to the way the human ear registers sound) decibels is allowed without a visit from the police. Closing your blackout drapes will help deaden the sound of the live band and  raucous laughter, as well as keep undesirable relatives from peeking through the window panes into your party.

Count on us to share a few more helpful tips in the next few weeks to make this year’s “The Buffer Zone Day” celebration the best one yet!