And Then There’s This

Being a wee bit Irish, we celebrate a quiet St. Patrick’s Day with a close group of friends. There are no big, green plastic sunglasses or oversize leprechaun hats, just a lovely dinner and several toasts to health and happiness. Nevertheless, in true Buffer Zone style, we usually end up whining about a relative of ours, or commenting on someone else’s crazy relative.

Until this inspiring video caught our eye, and we are just going to shut the heck up.

The St. Baldrick’s Foundation is a volunteer-driven charity committed to funding the most promising research to find cures for childhood cancers and give survivors long healthy lives. According to their website, http://www.stbaldricks.org 175,00 children worldwide are diagnosed with cancer each year. Volunteers collect monetary pledges for carefully selected research grants, then have their head shaved at one of the St.Baldrick’s events.

This video was from the the Space Coast of Florida’s St. Baldrick’s Day event that was held a few days ago. It truly captures the love and support of the children’s families and friends, as well as the whole community, as they stand “proudly bald” beside them.

“2014 was an incredible year for St. Baldrick’s on the Space Coast! In only our Third Year we grew our event to shave just over 400 heads and raised over $300,000 to fund lifesaving Pediatric Cancer Research Grants. We also became the “10th” Largest Event in North America in Total Dollars Raised out of over 1,300 events. This is truly amazing and a true testament to Brevard County’s commitment to finding an end to Childhood Cancer!”

Included in the 400+ shaved heads were children, the youngest just 5 years old, and almost 70 women. Being bald seems wee bit more important than a green beer.

Is This Proving Our Survey Theory?

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I think we are on to something in The Buffer Zone Dysfunctional Family Survey/Contest.

According to the Smoking Gun, Thaddeus Morgan, 24, was arrested for interfering with an emergency call and misdemeanor assault after he allegedly pushed, slapped, and broke the glasses of his sister/roommate after a fight about “not putting the toilet seat down.”

Do men resort to brawling, shooting, or biting off the ear (http://wp.me/p3lORd-4f) of relatives in a disagreement, however minor, while women go all “Mean Girl” bitchy?

What do you think? Let’s hear it.

Enter your relative in our survey/contest (http://wp.me/p3IORd-42).

Photo courtesy of http://huff.to/1hMGWxH

Do Women Cause More Family Drama Than Men?

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Hmmm. It does seem that way.

By no means is this a scientific study, but The Buffer Zone Dysfunctional Family Survey entries are all about women. Do mean girls just grow up to mean girl relatives?

The responses have been quite wonderful, providing a hearty chuckle, and a feeling of kinship, although I don’t really want to be your kin because I have my own crazy relative, thank you.

Is a woman or man causing all the crazy drama in your family, or do you have a couple of dysfunctional family members? Here is your chance to explain, excuse, rat out, or vent about that person. The question below (#6.) is the one we are all waiting to read, so you can send in the answer to only that question, along with a link to your blog, etc. if you wish, or answer all the questions in our survey http://wp.me/p3lORd-42 by e-mailing responses to thebufferzonesurvey@yahoo.com.

6. Without naming names, who is the relative in your family that causes all the drama? And what incident best illustrates their craziness, “personality” or friction they bring to your family? Was it the time your great aunt slurped up the spaghetti she spilled down her blouse at your engagement party? When your grandfather got arrested after the family reunion for writing “The McMurty’s Rule!” in black spray paint on the rented hall, and then punching our the security guard? Or the holiday your cousin showed up drunk, did a semi-strip tease interpretive dance, and then slept with your husband?

The contest ends at 11:59 EST on March 15, 2014. The rules are as follows: …uh, wait, there are no rules. We don’t care about grammar, punctuation, or even if it’s completely 100% true. Amuse us.

Game On!

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Here we go all of you wonderful followers, and all of you wonderful stop-by-to-read oncers! A little sneak peak of answer number 6 from our first entry to our The Buffer Zone dysfunctional family member contest, sent to us by the lovely Luanna, http://www.sothislife.com.

6. Without naming names, who is the relative in your family that causes all the drama? And what incident best illustrates their craziness, “personality” or friction they bring to your family? Was it the time your great aunt slurped up the spaghetti she spilled down her blouse at your engagement party? When your grandfather got arrested after the family reunion for writing “The McMurty’s Rule!” in black spray paint on the rented hall, and then punching our the security guard? Or the holiday your cousin showed up drunk, did a semi-strip tease interpretive dance, and then slept with your husband?

“Drama award goes to my Aunt….gossipy bitch that she is, but it’s either made up or half true (I just talked to her today for an hour), and my Mom came in second. One of us most likely did all the other things or something quite close or worse, they used red spray paint but we thought they were funny, (I painted The Desiderata on my bedroom wall in oil paint, that got a lot of talk). No punching out except a family member or close friend. But my Daddy and Grandfather were ladies men. Come to think of it all the men are ladies men, and all the ladies flirt but no one got involved with a family members spouse (we have morals) besides we knew too much about them to want to do such a thing (gross). Just ask my Aunt or one of her 3 daughters (it’s inherited). My 3 nieces named themselves “Johnson Girls Rule” (whatever they want). We truly function quite well in our own dysfunctional way.”

So Luanna has thrown it down. Now it’s your turn to explain, excuse, rat out, or vent about your dysfunctional family member. The question above (#6.) is the one we are all waiting to read, so you can send in the answer to only that question, along with a link to your blog, etc. if you wish, or answer all the questions in our survey http://wp.me/p3lORd-42 by e-mailing responses to thebufferzonesurvey@yahoo.com.

The contest ends at 11:59 EST on March 15, 2014. The rules are as follows: …uh, wait, there are no rules. We don’t care about grammar, punctuation, or even if it’s completely 100% true. Amuse us.

Schadenfreude Smackdown

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Schadenfreude-noun. From German Schaden-damage and Freude-joy.  Happiness at the misfortune of others.

Until I heard the lyrics of the song “Schandenfreude” from the musical Avenue Q, I was not familiar with the word. If you haven’t seen the musical written by Robert Lopez, Jeff Marx and Jeff Whitty, puppets (which are visually operated by actors), and a character named Gary Coleman sing:

“Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy, and when I see how sad you are it sort of makes me…Happy!”

It depends on the misfortune, of course, but we here at the Buffer Zone have to honestly admit we have been known to snort diet soda out of our nose after someone shares their dysfunctional relative story. Not only do these stories make us happy, they also make us feel like we are not alone, a member of a community of crazies, if you will.

Check out our survey here http://wp.me/p3lORd-42 or cut to the chase and e-mail thebufferzonesurvey@yahoo.com your answer this question:

6. Without naming names, who is the relative in your family that causes all the drama? What incident best illustrates their craziness, “personality” or friction they bring to your family?

The contest will end March 15, 2014. A few sneak peaks will be posted in the next week, and the surveys will be posted at the end of March, with a link to your blog if you wish. If you don’t care to share your dysfunctional DNA, our lips are sealed.

It’s All Good Till Someone Loses An Ear

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Another day, another brotherly scuffle.

According to Huffington Post (http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4722926) and an article in the Democrat and Chronicle of Rochester, police say that 27-year-old Sean Fallon-Nebbia, pictured above, ending up biting part of his brother’s ear off, punching him several times in the face, and knocking him out just to make sure he got the message.

But what started this brotherly brouhaha at the Super Bowl Party Fallon-Nebbia hosted? Sure, they drank a whole bottle of whiskey before the incident, but I’m guessing that is not unusual.

Based on a trend I’m are seeing, it was not about the outcome of the game, or whether Peyton Manning is still the man, it was something about the food (http://wp.me/p3lORd-3U). Lord knows that people are passionate about their food. Were the chips stale? Not enough bean burrito dip to go around? Was it an issue that the pigs-in-a-blanket weren’t gluten free?

Maybe the issue that ignited the fight will come out during the trial. Meanwhile, the younger brother has a Buffer Zone, a restraining order, and a good shot at winning our Most Dysfunctional Family Contest.(http://wp.me/p31Ord-3U)

Hell On The Highway

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What do the numbers 20, 17, 16, 15, 13, 12, 10, 8, 7, 5, 3, and 1 have in common? Is it an ancient civilization’s numerical message that holds the answer to the secret of life? The solution to the Da Vinci Code? The next Powerball lottery jackpot?

WRONG!

Those numbers are the ages of the Kellogg children traveling, and living, in the RV pictured above. Yes, you read that correctly. 12 kids + 2 adults + 1 dog = My Version of Hell.

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You notice in this picture taken at the Florida RV Association SuperShow (where else?), no one is smiling, and rightfully so. I can’t imagine traveling across the United States listening to toddlers’ tantrums over who last slept on the table-bed by the window in the front of the motor home, and middle-age children sing loudly along with whoever is the pop music sensation at the moment. As for the teenagers, there is nothing like passing through Pensacola and puberty at the same time.

Once again proving the intelligence of dogs, it seems Labradoodle Eddie keeps running away. Eldest daughter, Kerry, also escaped, and is working at a ski resort in Colorado, where she probably has a luxurious single bed she doesn’t have to share with anyone unless she wants to. The parents, Dan and Susie, think she will be back traveling with the family in Spring, but if I were her parents I wouldn’t hold my breath.

On the plus side, the children, who are home schooled, are kayaking their way through our beautiful country. That is one heck of a Geography lesson. Also in the plus column is the fact that…., no, um…., I guess….how about…uh, they are learning to share?

More power to the Kelloggs for making it all about the journey, even though the journey involves spending all day driving, and driving, and driving with 12 children. Imagining the noise, the arguments, my mind reels as I break out in pinpoint red hives. How do you do laundry for 14 when on the road? How do you do laundry for 14 anywhere? What kind of meals can you prepare in two crockpots that the whole brood will happily eat? Remember there are elementary age children aboard. You sure aren’t going through the fast food drive-through in that 36 foot long vehicle. Is there space available in the teeny refrigerator to store enough cheese to last till the next grocery store visit?

The video in the link below shows Susie and Dan talking and looking like regular, normal people! I would be a whimpering, crazy-talking basket case, nursing the scrapes I incurred when I jumped out the back window of the RV. Would you attempt this (the fourteen-humans-and-one-canine-in-an-RV thing, not the leap-out-the-window-of-an-RV thing)?

http://www.tampabay.com/sports/outdoors/more-people-can-live-in-an-rv-than-you-think/2161382