This past September, I was one of 120 people worldwide that participated in a Harsh Reality (http://www.aopinionatedman.com) survey on the right to have an opinion. It was interesting to see the demographics of the bloggers, and how their family and culture affected their views.
Which led me to consider whether other cultures have the same asinine, dysfunctional family issues we have here in the United States, and who would win the contest of the crazies. I don’t mean the heartbreaking family issues we, unfortunately, hear about all too often, but the ones that make us chuckle and glad we are not you.
Everyone has one. Whenever the subject of dysfunctional families is brought up in conversation, I never fail to hear “You think that’s bad! Wait until I tell you about my bonehead family!” Then they proceed to tell me, usually using a lot of “descriptive” language, and hand motions.
Here’s your chance to lay out your family dysfunctions, and roll around on them like our dog on a dead frog. E-mail the survey below to firstname.lastname@example.org either by cutting and pasting the questions, or just send us the numbered answers, and we will publish the best ones.
Tell us about the loony/loonies in your family. We are all
THE BUFFER ZONE SURVEY
1. “Who Are You, Who, Who, Who, Who?” (I can’t ask that question without singing The Who Song in my head.) Male or female? Approximate age? If desired, you can add your alias, blog link, and/or twitter name here.
2. Please provide your country of origin. Where do you reside currently?
3. Are you from a large or small family? If applicable, what size family do you have now?
4. Do you have a large or small extended family? Did you grow up surrounded by grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins? Are you still surrounded by them or live in close proximity to them?
5. How frequent are your family get-togethers? Do you have a standing invitation to Sunday dinner? Are holidays one big family reunion?
Now the question that has us giddy in anticipation….
6. Without naming names, who is the relative in your family that causes all the drama? And what incident best illustrates their craziness, “personality” or friction they bring to your family? Was it the time your great aunt slurped up the spaghetti she spilled down her blouse at your engagement party? When your grandfather got arrested after the family reunion for writing “The McMurtry’s Rule!” in black spray paint on the rented hall, and then punching the security guard? Or the holiday your cousin showed up drunk, did a semi-strip tease interpretive dance, and then slept with your husband?
If you have more than one relative in your extended family that makes you flee from family gatherings, you are welcome to send in an entry for each of them, because we feel sorry for you, and it adds to our amusement.
This contest ends March 15, 2014, and while there is no cash prize, you do have bragging rights as having the most dysfunctional family ever in the history of the world. If any of my lovely blog readers know of someone who might want to
vent participate, please share this with them. After all, misery loves company.