Yay For Me!! Uh, Wait…

I recently got a message from Word Press congratulating me on my 50th blog post. I was feeling pretty proud of myself since I fittingly started this blog on April 1st, 2013.

  I looked like this.

Until I remembered that I only write about 5 paragraphs, and had a 12 Days of Dysfunction Christmas song, where I added a line a day. Suddenly, my stats were not so impressive.

Like most people, real life and time constraints come into play. While I always have blog ideas swimming around in my somewhat fuzzy brain, I find myself spending most of my available time reading some really impressive and entertaining posts by other bloggers.

We are gearing up for the The Buffer Zone Dysfunctional Family Survey posts, so check back to amuse yourself with crazy family incidents, and feel better about your DNA. Until then, I will be re-blogging some of my favorite posts by incredible writers.

Remember you only have 123 days until The Buffer Zone Day.

Is This Proving Our Survey Theory?

I think we are on to something in The Buffer Zone Dysfunctional Family Survey/Contest.

According to the Smoking Gun, Thaddeus Morgan, 24, was arrested for interfering with an emergency call and misdemeanor assault after he allegedly pushed, slapped, and broke the glasses of his sister/roommate after a fight about “not putting the toilet seat down.”

Do men resort to brawling, shooting, or biting off the ear (http://wp.me/p3lORd-4f) of relatives in a disagreement, however minor, while women go all “Mean Girl” bitchy?

What do you think? Let’s hear it.

Enter your relative in our survey/contest (http://wp.me/p3IORd-42).

Photo courtesy of http://huff.to/1hMGWxH

Do Women Cause More Family Drama Than Men?

Hmmm. It does seem that way.

By no means is this a scientific study, but The Buffer Zone Dysfunctional Family Survey entries are all about women. Do mean girls just grow up to mean girl relatives?

The responses have been quite wonderful, providing a hearty chuckle, and a feeling of kinship, although I don’t really want to be your kin because I have my own crazy relative, thank you.

Is a woman or man causing all the crazy drama in your family, or do you have a couple of dysfunctional family members? Here is your chance to explain, excuse, rat out, or vent about that person. The question below (#6.) is the one we are all waiting to read, so you can send in the answer to only that question, along with a link to your blog, etc. if you wish, or answer all the questions in our survey http://wp.me/p3lORd-42 by e-mailing responses to thebufferzonesurvey@yahoo.com.

6. Without naming names, who is the relative in your family that causes all the drama? And what incident best illustrates their craziness, “personality” or friction they bring to your family? Was it the time your great aunt slurped up the spaghetti she spilled down her blouse at your engagement party? When your grandfather got arrested after the family reunion for writing “The McMurty’s Rule!” in black spray paint on the rented hall, and then punching our the security guard? Or the holiday your cousin showed up drunk, did a semi-strip tease interpretive dance, and then slept with your husband?

The contest ends at 11:59 EST on March 15, 2014. The rules are as follows: …uh, wait, there are no rules. We don’t care about grammar, punctuation, or even if it’s completely 100% true. Amuse us.

Game On!

Here we go all of you wonderful followers, and all of you wonderful stop-by-to-read oncers! A little sneak peak of answer number 6 from our first entry to our The Buffer Zone dysfunctional family member contest, sent to us by the lovely Luanna, http://www.sothislife.com.

6. Without naming names, who is the relative in your family that causes all the drama? And what incident best illustrates their craziness, “personality” or friction they bring to your family? Was it the time your great aunt slurped up the spaghetti she spilled down her blouse at your engagement party? When your grandfather got arrested after the family reunion for writing “The McMurty’s Rule!” in black spray paint on the rented hall, and then punching our the security guard? Or the holiday your cousin showed up drunk, did a semi-strip tease interpretive dance, and then slept with your husband?

“Drama award goes to my Aunt….gossipy bitch that she is, but it’s either made up or half true (I just talked to her today for an hour), and my Mom came in second. One of us most likely did all the other things or something quite close or worse, they used red spray paint but we thought they were funny, (I painted The Desiderata on my bedroom wall in oil paint, that got a lot of talk). No punching out except a family member or close friend. But my Daddy and Grandfather were ladies men. Come to think of it all the men are ladies men, and all the ladies flirt but no one got involved with a family members spouse (we have morals) besides we knew too much about them to want to do such a thing (gross). Just ask my Aunt or one of her 3 daughters (it’s inherited). My 3 nieces named themselves “Johnson Girls Rule” (whatever they want). We truly function quite well in our own dysfunctional way.”

So Luanna has thrown it down. Now it’s your turn to explain, excuse, rat out, or vent about your dysfunctional family member. The question above (#6.) is the one we are all waiting to read, so you can send in the answer to only that question, along with a link to your blog, etc. if you wish, or answer all the questions in our survey http://wp.me/p3lORd-42 by e-mailing responses to thebufferzonesurvey@yahoo.com.

The contest ends at 11:59 EST on March 15, 2014. The rules are as follows: …uh, wait, there are no rules. We don’t care about grammar, punctuation, or even if it’s completely 100% true. Amuse us.

Schadenfreude Smackdown

Photo: Cinemablographer

Schadenfreude-noun. From German Schaden-damage and Freude-joy.  Happiness at the misfortune of others.

Until I heard the lyrics of the song “Schandenfreude” from the musical Avenue Q, I was not familiar with the word. If you haven’t seen the musical written by Robert Lopez, Jeff Marx and Jeff Whitty, puppets (which are visually operated by actors), and a character named Gary Coleman sing:

“Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy, and when I see how sad you are it sort of makes me…Happy!”

It depends on the misfortune, of course, but we here at the Buffer Zone have to honestly admit we have been known to snort diet soda out of our nose after someone shares their dysfunctional relative story. Not only do these stories make us happy, they also make us feel like we are not alone, a member of a community of crazies, if you will.

Check out our survey here http://wp.me/p3lORd-42 or cut to the chase and e-mail thebufferzonesurvey@yahoo.com your answer this question:

6. Without naming names, who is the relative in your family that causes all the drama? What incident best illustrates their craziness, “personality” or friction they bring to your family?

The contest will end March 15, 2014. A few sneak peaks will be posted in the next week, and the surveys will be posted at the end of March, with a link to your blog if you wish. If you don’t care to share your dysfunctional DNA, our lips are sealed.

“Wait Up All Night To Get Lucky”

We are taking a break from reading the first-rate Buffer Zone Contest entries that are starting to come in by catching some of the Sochi Winter Olympics.

I have always found Olympic spirit, dedication and talent of the athletes awe-inspiring, so this performance of “Get Lucky” by the Russian Police choir at the opening ceremony seems kind of out of place.

Out of place and hilarious. First, the song choice is questionable at best. Second, could the choir members, other than a few singers, look more uncomfortable?

Watch the NBC video in all of it’s fantasticalness here:

http://shar.es/QJsAo

You are welcome.

Don’t miss out on our dysfunctional relative contest! wp.me/p3IORd-4f

It’s All Good Till Someone Loses An Ear

Another day, another brotherly scuffle.

According to Huffington Post (http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/4722926) and an article in the Democrat and Chronicle of Rochester, police say that 27-year-old Sean Fallon-Nebbia, pictured above, ending up biting part of his brother’s ear off, punching him several times in the face, and knocking him out just to make sure he got the message.

But what started this brotherly brouhaha at the Super Bowl Party Fallon-Nebbia hosted? Sure, they drank a whole bottle of whiskey before the incident, but I’m guessing that is not unusual.

Based on a trend I’m are seeing, it was not about the outcome of the game, or whether Peyton Manning is still the man, it was something about the food (http://wp.me/p3lORd-3U). Lord knows that people are passionate about their food. Were the chips stale? Not enough bean burrito dip to go around? Was it an issue that the pigs-in-a-blanket weren’t gluten free?

Maybe the issue that ignited the fight will come out during the trial. Meanwhile, the younger brother has a Buffer Zone, a restraining order, and a good shot at winning our Most Dysfunctional Family Contest.(http://wp.me/p31Ord-3U)